Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is NOT one skill.

And treating it like it is…

Might be why your feedback isn't landing and your team isn’t growing.

Let me explain.

EI is one of the key traits I teach inside my Strong Leader model.

But here's the thing most people miss:

Emotional Intelligence is actually made up of 5 distinct sub-skills (based on Daniel Goleman’s 1995 "Emotional Intelligence").

When you lump it together as one thing, you miss what actually needs to improve.

Let’s break it down:

1. Self-Awareness
Recognising your own emotions and why you're feeling them.
(“I’m frustrated, but what’s driving that?”)

2. Self-Regulation
Managing your emotional impulses.
(Not snapping at your team when you’re under pressure.)

3. Motivation
Your level of internal drive. Aka your ability to keep showing up and staying positive, even when it’s hard.

4. Empathy
Feeling what others are feeling.
(Even when you haven’t been through it yourself.)

5. Social Skills
Building relationships. Communicating clearly. Influencing well.

Here’s why breaking it down is important:

You can’t give someone (or yourself) feedback on “lacking emotional intelligence.”
That’s too vague.

If you want to help someone grow, your feedback needs to be specific.
“Your empathy is strong - but your self-awareness could improve.”

Why?
I assess 13 traits and skills in my Strong Leader Audit.

Most Leaders have one of their biggest strengths and one of their biggest opportunities as a domain of EI.

Specific feedback. That’s how you actually set people up for success.